walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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