It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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