Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
