We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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