so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
