Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
