I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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