Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
