he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
