So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
