im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
