I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
