It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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