WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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