Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
