He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize