she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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