Umm I'm too high to move.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
