he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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