Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
