Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you had me at cake vodka
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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