I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
