Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
