wat bout pragnant strippers??
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sorry about my life...
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