He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
