I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
