Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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