you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
