dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
