idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
