I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
