your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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