No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
