...so i touched it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
