so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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