man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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