two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
