im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
