I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize