Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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