the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
