You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
