Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
