I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
