Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We need a shit load of segways right now
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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