Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You dont lie about slip and slides
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
