Im at strip club and am horny
look no pants
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
