Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
