Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I see more hoeing in ur future
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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