These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize