i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Bring me that man meat
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
