So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
