Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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