C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
