Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
