This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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