He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize