kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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