so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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