College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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